"I won't watch my life, crashing down on me"oh right, so i screwed up my ckt and my e.maths. big deal. so what. ha. Something little to work with ya. but oh well. im loving games with dedfetus. he's such a nice guy to play with rofl.. sadistic, moronic and gets wasted every other night rofl. Ahh. i love to play with funny people, who don't play like they can't lose or it'd be the end of the world. lmfao. RAWR. Gonna be a red dragon at least by July next year. Suckersss xD.. oooh.. ya.. gotta get my ass to go lifeguarding and kayaking soon.. too lazy.. rofl... ahhh yeahhhh... TP floorball here i come. Although i have this weird feeling i'll end up lagging a sem. rofl. rawh. whateverrr xD. ghey though, neverwinter nights still cant seem to work on my laptop and i'm pretty sure it's not my specs. oh well. im really too lazy to troubleshoot.
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re-read a cool book today.. and something caught my eye.. it's about this mafia boss who is dying of AIDS.. and his 'adopted son' from rehab.. its a long story...
"Leonard asks if there's anything I need to know before he dies, I think about it for a minute, turn to him, say what's the meaning of life Leonard? He laughs, says that's an easy one my son, it's whatever you want it to be."rahh.. i want life to be cool =) I wanna be a lifeguard and I wanna play floorball for TP. I want my powerboat license and my kayaking 2-star. Nobody's gonna stop me =)
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enough, quit taunting me about it. In some ways I'm really glad i made the decision i made, but in some ways i still regret it, badly. sometimes it makes me glad that you're unsuccessful in it, because i know that if i didn't make the decision i made, i'd do a better job. it's my love and my strength, obviously i'd be good at it, probably one of the only things i'll ever be good it. kudos to you for trying to make me feel bad, but i'm sorry to tell you, you failed badly.
Regrets are one thing, but as long as i don't have dumbfucks like you to make my life any worse, i think i'm satisfied momentarily yeah. i never thought you were cool, never looked up to you in any way, and fuck it. So what if i'm in engineering? Really. so what? I'll probably find a way not to screw up my life, unlike you. I'm sure no matter how many sugar bowls and silver lined roses you get, you'll fuck up. There's a difference between you and me. You don't know how to rise up to the opportunity, well maybe i don't either but i don't pretend that i do. I'm a dreamer. Yeah? And at least i don't do something because of certain people. I do things because i want to, and soon enough, really soon enough, i'll discover how to not let anybody stop me do what i want, but you, you'd better stay away from me, far away, because no matter how many times you try to stab me in the back, i'm prepared, and soon, i'll be carrying a longer knife. Oh well, enough of temper-ranting. Time to devour myself in CKT for the next 2 days.. and then we'll talk about the rest.
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haha. uploaded for corde T.T
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Maybe I...
- Should lock myself in a room with 4 walls, a table, chair, 3-pin plug, CKT notes and my mp3.
- Should do the whole e.maths book upside down, inside out and vice versa for the past year papers.
- Should shove my nose in DFUND notes instead of reading Stephen Leather books.
- Should stop playing C&C 3 when I'm supposed to study.
- Should stop having weird cravings for sparkling orange juice T.T
- Should stop engaging with conversations that make me sound retarded..
so i was trying to solve the question
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:44 AM):
and i realised it couldnt be solved
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:44 AM):
because its not meant to be solved
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:44 AM):
T.T
Head of hard knocks.. says (1:46 AM):
lol
Head of hard knocks.. says (1:46 AM):
how typical of u
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:47 AM):
omg
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:47 AM):
HOW EVIL OF YOU
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:47 AM):
TYPICAL
Head of hard knocks.. says (1:47 AM):
laggy reaction
Head of hard knocks.. says (1:47 AM):
typicAL
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:48 AM):
omg
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:48 AM):
just evil
*valerie\(°.•)/™. Ҳ [kealur wabbit] says (1:48 AM):
typically evil
Well.. such a typical conversation with my oh-so-evil gf .. and to think i was thinking of divorcing steph for her T.T haaaa.. back to ... log blahblahblahblah
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Sigh... really quite screwed up lately... I dunno... my tolerance for certain people seems to be dipping.. much like how the oceanic plate subducts to the less dense continental place.. I just don't understand why and how some people think the way they do nowadays.. but maybe it makes me see the true side of some people.. or maybe it's the blunt realities of life. I don't know. Or maybe I just think too much. Whatever it is, I think I'm going to join floorball next sem... something that I'm at least decent at, I prefer watersports really, but this isn't the time and place I think..
Well maybe it's time for me to strive for something way more realistic.. Something that doesn't make people scoff and tell me to dream on.. Sigh.. I hate the constant inconsistencies of life, and I find that sometimes it's taking it's toll on me. I mean, it's also the constant inconsistencies of life that make people behave the way they do sometimes.. right? Ah well.. Shan't ponder too much over this kind of stuff.. Maybe it's not worth my time.. Gah.. Getting quite fed up with myself lately. Can't seem to make myself study no matter what I do. As far as I'm concerned, I know I can't study in Changi Airport. Tried and failed consistently.. At least one thing is being consistent.. Ah. whatever... Looking forward to at least scraping past my papers.. at least to bring me to the next sem.. Looking forward to joining floorball next sem... Need to keep my adrenaline flowing, I can't live like a lifeless soul.. it's too ... well I forgot the word to describe it..
Maybe sometimes, I'm better off chasing my dreams alone.. Was that how life was meant to be? You use them, then you lose them? I'm not that kind of person. Close friends mean alot to me, and well.. let's just say I want to keep it that way. And I realised lately that I'm quite a softie.. ouch.. hurts my outer shell.. Maybe I'm like a turtle.. sigh.. why can't people in the world just be straightforward about stuff? It seems that almost everybody is enjoying going around the bush lately, real switch off. Oh well.. here's me signing out of life for a few hours..
Should I go to school tomorrow? We'll see if i wake up..
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I swear man.. exams are like less than 2 weeks away and i'm not even doing much on my part. It's not that i don't want to pass or whatever.. I know that if i try i'll pass.. but sometimes i've just got no mood no motivation to do anything.. tired.. and lately it just seems like i'm slugging around the world.. waiting for it to end maybe.. I dunno.. I'm just tired of stuff.. sick of studying half my life away, sick of always living up to others' expectations, and sick of how it's always not enough. Why do i even try when sometimes people don't even care.. Sad.. maybe it's for my own goals and own expectations, but right now i don't even know what my own goals and expectations are..
If i tell you what i really want.. people are just gonna tell me to stop dreaming.. well i like to dream.. maybe i'll be a dreamer.. With great power comes great responsibility. With no power comes no responsibility.
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Hmm. Stumbled upon Huiying's blog =D I swear that girl is an ultra bimbo and she's ultra amusing.. I miss standing at the counter with her, fantasizing about Popeye's, and just being totally unwilling to serve the ah-nehs.. LOL.. Whups. Nobody heard that. T.T Sigh.. tired.. Dezuk kept me up the whole night and I was trying to persuade him to re-release his OT server.. to no avail. But the catch up was fun. I haven't been a game-addict for real long. I kind of miss it. I'm not even at home much anymore, heh.. Rah.. Tired, working at 6 later.. I should go and catch some sleep. GROWLZ0R
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sigh.. really tired..
don't get things that have been going on.
whatever.. life's screwed like it is..
sleepy .. haven't slept decently in 2 days..
unless you can consider 2 hours sleep as decent..
falling asleep.. but i can't sleep..
got to do homework..
exams are coming..
i can't fail... or can i?
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sigh. im a loser. everything gets destroyed in my hands.
nvm.. i dropped my phone in the cab.. sigh..
loser.. its ok.. now nobody can contact me.. very good..
better for everybody.. i wont call to disturb them anymore..
fated..
wont get my ndp tickets..
see. everything gets destroyed in my hands..
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i took a trip to monster land.. i saw monsters big and small.. lolz0r.
school was pointless today.. went for 1 hour, for dfund lab.. then went to tampines..
fuck.. POSBank is damn annoying.. i wanted to make a debit.. well i did. but the stupid woman
sucks at customer service :(. because i told her i wanted the POSB debit card.. which is the orange one which can be used online which ISNT instant. then she told me that it can be done instantly.. so i was shocked.. but ok.. then she took the blue one out to emboss.. THEN I GOT NTH TO SAY. cos she already swiped and all... so oh well..
i'm living with a gay POSB everyday GO! card, which is pretty useless because you cant use it online, and you can only use it like.. for shops/restaurants/axs machines.. basically personally.. damn ultra annoying =(
AH well.. so i'm trying to figure my e.maths now.. T.T .. most probably watching simpsons with charlene and manoj tonight.. we shall see... growlz0r
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